Hello Again and a Few Chuckles

It's been quite a while since I posted anything here at Joysweb. Been concentrating on my book blog and trying to get lots of reading done. Also a lot of health and medical stuff going on recently - but you don't want to hear about that. (And neither do I!)

So I thought I'd post these funnies. Don't know where they came from originally; my husband received them in an email at work. So if I'm stepping on anyone's copyright here, I apologize and hope to be forgiven (we're talking church stuff here, right?).

These allegedly appeared in actual church bulletins around the country.

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
   
   
2. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
   
   
3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
   
   
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
   
   
5. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
   
   
6. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
   
   
7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
   
   
8. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
   
   
9. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
   
   
10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
    
    
11. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    
    
12. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    
    
13. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    
    
14. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    
    
15. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
    
    
16. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
    
    
17. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    
    
18. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    
    
19. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. Is done.
    
    
20. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
    
    
21. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
    
    
22. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    
    
23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
    
    
24. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Wow, if number 17 is to be believed, church has gotten a lot more interesting since the last time I was in attendance.

Wordless Wednesday: No Ifs, Ands, Or ...

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Some Late Grooviness for Saturday

I can see I'm already failing miserably at Holidailies. Didn't post anything on Joysweb yesterday, and I've almost missed today, too. Well, we've been surprised with two absolutely beautiful days in a row, all of a sudden here, and I'm over the cold and the back seems to be working again - so M and I have been out and about quite a lot. Today we did a little Christmas shopping, stocked up on groceries and the inevitable milk/bread/toilet paper/bottled water before the winter storm that might be coming our way tomorrow. Treated ourselves to lunch at the local Olive Garden (artichoke/spinach appetizer - yum!). Then came home and took a long winter's nap! I'm definitely turning into a senior citizen.

So, that's the reason I haven't been posting much these last couple of days. But I thought, from time to time during this Christmas season, I might put up some photos of some of my favorite vintage cards from Christmases past, and I guess this might be a good time to start. So here's one I love - not that old, but it reminds me so much of the cards we used to send and receive back when M and I were first married and starting our own Christmas traditions. And the sentiment is still very, as we used to say, relevant, man!

Blue Monday: Blue Warning!

Thanks to Smiling Sally for hosting Blue Monday. For more blue offerings, or to participate yourself, please visit her blog.

Well, I was thinking I really didn't have anything blue to share this week. But in going back over some of the photos we've taken on vacation during the past few years, I happened upon this shot of a gift shop window in Rehoboth Beach DE. It's one of my hubby's favorites because he says it perfectly reflects the working conditions in the agency he works for. Now how depressing is that?

Friday Fill-Ins #110

Wow, here it is after 5PM as I'm beginning this (got a late start today), and the sun is still shining brightly outside my window. Makes me feel like spring is just around the corner, no matter what that darn groundhog said! Maybe this won't be the winter that wouldn't end, after all. Anyway, time for another Friday Fill-Ins, so here goes:

1. Please don't tell me how much you love winter – I'm ready for spring.

2. Can you please not expect me to make sense before around 11:00 in the morning? And only after several cups of coffee, too.

3. The color pink makes me want to jump into my time machine and whisk myself back to 1954!

4. I have a craving for a decaf mocha cappuccino and some hazelnut biscotti.

5. If my life had a pause button, I'd pause it whenever I wanted to, of course (who wouldn't?).

6. Eyes are the sign that a potato has started to germinate. Just go forage in my kitchen and you can see plenty of examples!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to staying in and watching "Monk" and "Numb3rs," tomorrow my plans include the usual round of shopping and errands, and maybe watching one of our Netflix DVDs (I think we've got "Mr. Brooks" right now), and Sunday, I want to finish at least one of the four books I've got going at the moment (I really need to get some reading done)!

Friday Fill-Ins #107

Well, January is half over - does that seem impossible, or what? Hope everybody is managing to keep warm, here in the middle of this cold, cold winter. Brrrrr! I'm making myself shiver. Better just get to it - time for another Friday Fill-Ins, so here goes:

1. Enough with the cold weather, already – where's spring?

2. The thought of my hubby's retirement causes me to be conflicted. (The nice thing is – he'll be home all the time. The bad thing is – he'll be home all the time. Just kidding, sweetie.)

3. I've been craving shrimp and crab and clams and mussels – I think all those Red Lobster TV commercials are doing their job much too well.

4. Looking through my high school yearbook makes me laugh. (And cringe!)

5. I wish I could go to Paris next week. Hmmm. I wish I could go to Paris right now.

6. _____ has been on my mind lately. (See answer to #1 above.)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to ordering Chinese food and maybe watching one of the Netflix DVDs we've got (probably "Solaris" – I'm in the mood for a little sci-fi), tomorrow my plans include trying to get out and do some shopping if it's not too frigid out there and Sunday, I want to do a little cleaning around the place, and get some reading done!

Friday Fill-Ins #106

Another Friday and another Friday Fill-Ins. I seem to have misplaced this whole week. Oh, well, here we go:

1. It's January; I'll be in Key West till April. (In my dreams, anyway!)

2. Spring is what I crave most right now.

3. Cork and wine go together like peel and banana, warden and prisoner, Hoover Dam and Lake Mead.

4. Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream is so nourishing. (Oh, no, wait a minute – I must have meant "so fattening.")

5. Let us dare to play our Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack CD even though Christmas is history and we're driving our husband crazy.

6. Anytime you want to, you can come clean my home.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to staying home, relaxing, and watching the new episode of "Monk," tomorrow my plans include taking some stuff over to our storage place, and then having lunch out (and possibly dinner, too – I am so tired of eating my own cooking), and Sunday, I want to get some reading done!

One Classic Dame

So I took one of those online personality test thingies – the Classic Dames Test, to see what kind of "Classic Dame" I am. That's classic dame from the movies, of course. And it turns out I'm the Myrna Loy type. Which is great – she's always been one of my favorite movie stars from the 1930s and '40s. Actually, I was hoping I'd get to be Myrna Loy. Yay!


The results said:

"You are class itself, the calm, confident 'perfect woman.' Men turn and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you're a great help to your partner even if they don't immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you."

Simmerpot?

And the numbers were:

Grit = 45/100 You scored 21% on grit, higher than 45% of your peers.
Wit = 61/100 You scored 29% on wit, higher than 61% of your peers.
Flair = 21/100 You scored 29% on flair, higher than 21% of your peers.
Class = 77/100 You scored 38% on class, higher than 77% of your peers.

Hmmmm. I would have thought Myrna Loy would have scored a little higher on grit, wit and class, wouldn't you? I mean, she helped William Powell solve all those Thin Man mysteries, didn't she? That took a lot of grit. And she was always pretty darn witty and classy all the while.

Ya think maybe I'm expecting a tad too much of the Classic Dames Test? Oh, well, maybe I should just be content with that part about being the "perfect woman." My husband should be amused to hear that it's finally official: I've been telling him that for years!

Purr-fect Image for a Monday

OK – I know I should be doing other, more productive things, but I just love the I Can Has Cheez Burger web site.

Onna Fence

I found this on a site called I can has cheezburger. Loads of funny cat pix.

As for me, Sarah Palin has sort of knocked me off the old fence. I still like this photo, though.