Flashback Friday: Time For Bandstand

The best-laid plans of mice and men (and women) ... well, you know how it goes.

For a while I was exploring the possibility of taking part in the A to Z Blogging in April challenge thingie that's going on right now, around the internet. Finally came to the realization that I would never be able to keep up the pace of posting everyday. But I wrote a few posts and had them in place, and really hated to let them go to waste. And for quite a while now I've thought about doing some sort of flashback, nostalgia post on Fridays. So I'm using what would have been my first A-Z post as my first flashback. And we'll just see how long I can keep this going.

And the first flashback is...

American Bandstand

The popular teenage dance show was one of my earliest obsessions, back in the '50s, before I was actually a teenager myself. As soon as I got home from school every day, I'd turn the show on and let myself be totally mesmerized by the music and dancing. I knew the names of most of the kids, who was dancing with who, even who was dating who. I watched for new dance crazes and practiced all the steps. I copied the fashions, as nearly as I could, although that didn't always gel -- well, the Bandstand kids were older, and Texas winters were a lot warmer than Philadelphia winters. When the girls started showing up with their cardigan sweaters turned 'round, with the buttons running down the back, I was enthralled -- I wanted my sweaters backwards too, even though my mother railed about how stupid it looked. (I think she just didn't like having to do up my buttons every morning.)

My mom watched the show with me. I thought that was a little weird at the time -- after all, she was an old person. (She must have been all of -- what? -- maybe 35 or 36, at the time.) We both had our favorite dancers. She liked Justine and Bob (Justine Corelli and Bob Clayton) -- the show's blonde dream couple.

I liked them too, but didn't think they were the best dancers. And it was the dancing, not the soap opera, I was interested in.

I stopped watching the show after I started junior high (middle school to you whipper-snappers), and developed other interests. But before my passion waned, I sent off for the Bandstand yearbook (from, I believe, 1958), which is where all these photos come from. Here's a shot of the cover:

And a shot of the back cover:

Bandstand stayed on the air, in various versions and on several different networks, until 1989 -- long after I stopped watching and moved on to other obsessions. Apparently Dick Clark stuck with the show until very near the end. Well, he was, after all, America's oldest teenager.


If you're interested in trying out the A to Z Blogging Challenge for this month, just click on the link. I'm not sure there's still time to join up, since April is pretty far along.

And if you've got your own "Flashback Friday" memory, tell me all about it in the comments here, or leave a link to your blog post and I'll come take a look. Not that we want to dwell in the past, of course. (Do we?)

Doll of the Week

Make that Dolls, plural. And these aren't dolls from my personal collection. At least, not yet. But I've really got to have them.


These are the new "Mad Men" Barbies and Kens. From the left, the characters are Joan Holloway, Roger Sterling, Don Draper and Betty Draper. It's interesting (and a little disorienting) that both Joan and Betty have the same measurements. Shouldn't Joan be a little more generously endowed?

The show and Barbie seem like a perfect match. After all, Barbie was introduced in March 1959, and the show's first episode is set in March 1960. And many pundits have pointed out Betty Draper's similarity to the B doll. Apparently, the choice of characters to represent created a bit of controversy, though. The Times article said:

That two dolls [Joan and Roger] represent a relationship outside wedlock, and Don Draper’s propensity for adultery, may be firsts for the Barbie world since the brand’s introduction five decades ago. But for the sake of the Barbie image, her immersion in the “Mad Men” era will go only so far: The dolls come with period accessories like hats, overcoats, pearls and padded undergarments, but no cigarettes, ashtrays, martini glasses or cocktail shakers.

Darn! I would have loved a teensy martini set. But I'm really interested in those padded undergarments, too!

This photo is from the New York Times article about the dolls. As I said, I don't have my own set of the dolls yet. They don't go on sale until June or July, and they're listed at seventy-five bucks each. A little expensive, I guess, but I'm definitely putting them on my wish list.

Watching Hollywood Watching Itself

We watched the Academy Awards last night. A mistake, and I knew it would be, but there wasn't much of interest on any of the other channels, and I probably won't feel like taking on a movie until I get my new eyeglasses next weekend. So, the Oscars it was. And, as awards shows go, it wasn't really bad. Nobody misbehaved or broke down uncontrollably or made crude remarks (well, if you don't count all that nonsense Sandra Bullock came up with about Meryl Streep). In fact, it was so smooth it was downright boring. There were no gate crashers (at least they didn't show up on stage), no streakers, no protesters. Nothing really to set it apart. In fact, even the "tribute to the dead" part wasn't really as wrenching as usual – it went by so fast, it seemed like there must have been only three or four industry-types who died last year.

I could have done without all that silly preamble stuff – actors telling us about what they think of other actors before the awards were actually announced. Who cares who loves who? Just get on with opening the envelopes, please!

I didn't like the interpretive dance production in the middle of the show, either. What was that all about anyway? It seemed to go on for hours, and I never really understood exactly what they were supposed to be interpreting.

And I didn't care much for all the beautiful teenaged presenters, either. I guess that makes me a curmudgeon, huh? Or just a mean old broad, but that's OK. I know the networks have to try to appeal to the "younger audience" (or think they do) – but it would be nice if the kids could at least look a little more engaged, and a little less bored when they're on stage. Sullen is sullen, no matter whether it's done by an adolescent vampire-movie star or the local McDonald's cashier. And it ain't pretty, folks.

I don't usually watch the show, these days. There was a time when I wouldn't have missed it for anything, but I'm really not that much of a movie fanatic anymore. M and I hardly ever go out to movies (although we did make it out over the weekend – more on that later); and although we do see quite a few movies on DVD (thanks to Comcast and Netflix), our tastes are esoteric and extremely selective. Long gone are the days when we saw every film that comes out during the year, domestic and foreign. So it's not at all uncommon for me to have seen not a one of the nominated films or performances. In fact, of the films mentioned in any of the categories this year, I've seen exactly two – Star Trek and Crazy Heart. I was glad Jeff Bridges won for Best Actor – he was truly magnificent as Bad Blake in Crazy Heart; but not having seen any of the other performances, I really didn't have any other candidates to root for.

It was not the greatest show the Academy has put on. Steve and Alec were OK hosts, but they seemed really reigned in all night, and all but disappeared halfway through. Not exactly two wild and crazy guys. I'm hoping for a return of Billy or Whoopi or Ellen or even Jon next year. Not that I'm promising to be watching next year. About midway through the show, M switched over to the Celtics/Wizards basketball game, and after that we watched the Oscars in bits, here and there. Which didn't seem to detract too much. The game was much more exciting, and everyone involved looked like they really wanted to be there.

*****
Cross-posted at Old Broad On Parade.

Monday's Movie: Bee Movie

A Novel Menagerie hosts Monday's Movie every week, and invites everyone to "write about any movies, television or big screen, that you’ve seen over the past week."

This wasn't a huge movie-watching week for us, as we were at the beach for most of it and had other activities to keep us busy. But last weekend, we did manage to watch one new movie on DVD (new to us anyway), although (as usual) we didn't go out to see any. For some reason (well, for many reasons, actually), it's getting harder and harder to drag myself out to see a movie when I can wait a few weeks and see it on DVD in the comfort of my own living room. Without all that chatter from the people sitting behind me. And without all those cell phones going off at crucial moments. And the popcorn is fresher, too.

Anyway, back to the subject.

Bee Movie

USA, 2007; animated feature

MPAA Rating: Rated PG for mild suggestive humor, and a brief depiction of smoking.

Written by Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, and Andy Robin

Additional screenplay material by Chuck Martin and Tom Papa

Directed by Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith

Voices: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Barry Levinson, Ray Liotta, Sting, Larry King, Oprah Winfrey, Larry Miller, Rip Torn, Michael Richards

Synopsis (from the Bee Movie website):

From creator Jerry Seinfeld comes "Bee Movie," a comedy that will change everything you thought you knew about bees. Take a close look at the world through the eyes of one bee in particular – Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld). A recent college graduate, Barry wants more out of life than the inevitable career that awaits him and every other worker in New Hive City – a job at Honex . . . making honey. Barry jumps at the chance to venture out of the hive, and soon encounters a world beyond his wildest dreams. When Barry inadvertently meets a quirky florist named Vanessa (Renee Zellweger), he breaks one of the cardinal rules of beedom – he talks to her. A friendship soon develops, and Barry gets a guided crash course in the ways of the human race. When he shockingly discovers that anyone can purchase honey right off the grocery store shelf, he realizes that his true calling is to stop this injustice and set the world right by suing the human race for stealing the bees' precious honey.

My Thoughts:
I really wasn't expecting much from this one. Without the added surrealistic-neurotic influence of Larry David, I thought Seinfeld's humor might be a little too whimsical and cutesy for my taste. But I like animated films, so I decided to give it a try, and was pleasantly surprised. If you liked Seinfeld the TV show, then you'll probably like Bee Movie. It has the same kind of humor, and quite a bit of the same edge.

Barry B. Benson is recognizably Jerry Seinfeld, and much of the movie echoes the old TV show's plots and story lines. Even the parental units seem familiar – especially when Barry's mom (played by Kathy Bates) hopes that his new girlfriend is "Beeish," or when she sees him in court on TV and says (in the way of mothers everywhere, I suppose), "I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!"

I think my favorite character was probably Ken, the human boyfriend of Barry's love interest Vanessa. Ken is played by Patrick Warburton who also played David Puddy on the Seinfeld show. Puddy was always one of my favorite Seinfeld characters, too – and Ken and David are obviously related. At one point, when his dating schedule is interrupted by the bee crisis, Ken loudly moans, "Why does yogurt night have to be so difficult?" Pure Puddy, that.

I'm rating this one four bags of popcorn out of five. I think it's definitely one I could happily watch again.

TV Topics: Mr. G's Arrival

I'm something of a Law and Order fan, although I don't usually watch the first-run broadcasts of the shows – I generally catch the replays and spinoffs on TNT and the USA network. But of all the many permutations of the long-running crime drama, I've never really watched L&O: Criminal Intent much – mainly because I can't stand Vincent D'Onofrio (Oh, no! not D'Onofrio!). Well now, actually Vincent might be a wonderful guy, I'm sure it's just the character he plays that I can't stand. Not too happy about his partner, either; but at least she's usually mostly in the background. And I totally missed the Chris Noth era on LO:CI. Which is too bad because I like him a lot. Mr. Big and all that.

But now I find that Jeff Goldblum has joined the cast of Criminal Intent, and that makes me very happy indeed. For some reason unknown even to myself, I've always been a Goldblum fan. I know he always plays slightly mysterious, weird, arrogant characters. In fact, it's probably that arrogant quirkiness that I like so much. So last night I stayed up late to watch the rebroadcast of his debut appearance (couldn't watch the first run of the show because we were watching a DVD of Quantum of Solace, the latest Bond feature – and that's a whole 'nother story, for some later post).

And Jeff didn't disappoint. As Detective Zach Nichols, he's just as self-assured, quirky – and yes, even a little mysterious – as always. And possessing a nice, laid-back, 60s-survivor quality that is such a welcome relief after the hair-trigger angst of D'Onofrio's Detective Goren. His Detective Nichols solved the crime with an appealing aplomb and lack of histrionics, worthy of Poirot and his "little grey cells." In fact, it seems to me that Goldblum/Nichols may be the closest thing American TV crime fiction has to the stylish British masters like Morris, Dalgliesh, and Inspector Barnaby. Well, that may be stretching things a bit, but it does give me great hopes for the future of LO:CI.

Movie Musings: Hot, Hot, Hot

M and I have been watching a lot of TV lately – a habit I'm really trying to kick. But since we "went digital" back around Christmas time, we've been blessed (surely that's not the right word) with dozens (nay, hundreds) more channels than we used to have back in the bad old pre-HD days, including a dozen or so that show nothing but old movies. And since movie-watching is one of M's favorite pastimes (he'll watch just about anything that flickers), it's very hard to pry him away from the tube in the evening.

Last night, we watched Body Heat, the 1981 neo-noir crime drama written and directed by Lawrence Kasdan. Hadn't seen this one in years – possibly not since the 1980s. It's a sort of updated take on Double Indemnity, with William Hurt and Kathleen Turner in the Fred MacMurray / Barbara Stanwyck roles. And early on in the film, Kathleen Turner delivers one of my absolute favorite-of-all-time movie lines:

"You're not very smart, are you? I like that in a man."

And William Hurt's character, the subject of her remark, really wasn't very smart – in fact, he was stupid, stupid, stupid! But I won't say any more about that – you should go watch it for yourself.

The movie had a lot more nudity and graphic sex than I remembered – and both Turner and Hurt were, of course, nearly thirty years younger and in great shape. So they were nice to look at. But there was a lot of coupling. And panting. And sweating. And soaking in tubs of ice (no, really!). All very hot and steamy. Well, it was set in Florida during a heat wave. And as I was watching, it struck me that they all could have saved themselves a whole bunch of grief if they had just invested in a good air conditioning system.

TV Musings: Olympics Watch

So I'm wondering – did anybody else find the Summer Olympics opening ceremony just a wee bit terrifying? Don't know why, but even though it was certainly spectacular and unique, and parts of it were decidedly gorgeous, it really kind of scared the heck out of me.

It was – well, massive is the word that comes readily to mind. That and overwhelming. And smoky.

But what's with all those drums? And why no female drummers? Especially since they all seemed to be wearing dresses anyway. And I'm afraid the number with everybody dressed up in green lighted space alien costumes had me looking around for the mothership.

But there was plenty to admire, too. I especially liked the flying Apsaras – Buddhist spirits akin to nymphs or muses. They were lovely. Apparently they're also supposed to have something to do with guiding the luck of gamblers. And I imagine there's going to be lots of that going on during the games.

And, of course, the parade of nations is always stirring and fun to watch. It's always so interesting to see what everyone's wearing. I thought the U.S. team looked very snazzy in their Ralph Lauren duds, although white pants aren't really something that every body type can get away with. But the caps were very cute.

I kept hearing bagpipes off in the distance, but never saw any pipers. Well, we tuned away for a while at 9 and watched the new episode of Monk, so we didn't see every minute of the ceremonies. Too bad because I love bagpipes. And kilts. And Scotland. So I guess I'll have to start looking around on the internet and see if I can find the videos.

Random Photo Monday: TV Musings

Well, this is a not terribly good snap of me, taken sometime in the mid-1950s. I'm not exactly sure where I'm doing my TV watching in this photo. Possibly at my Aunt B's house. Or possibly at my grandparents' – they all had much bigger sets than we did at the time, and they let me get much nearer the screen than my mother did. She was convinced that sitting any closer than halfway across the room was guaranteed to make me go blind overnight. I guess that's why she never really approved of Winky Dink.

This past weekend was a big TV weekend around here for some reason. Lately I've been trying to wrench myself away from the tube, and doing a pretty good job of it, so far. But Friday evening there were new episodes of Monk and Doctor Who! Two of my favorite shows. Then late Friday night on the Sci-Fi channel there were re-runs of two episodes of Stargate SG-1 I hadn't seen. And Saturday night was Charlie Chaplin night on the Turner Classics movie channel. And even though M and I both really don't care for Chaplin, they were showing Monsieur Verdoux, which neither of us had seen before – so, of course, we had to watch.

I wasn't terribly impressed with "Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever." Although Captain Stotlemeyer had some nice scenes – especially the one where he thinks he's the winner of the multi-million dollar Lotto jackpot. ("The next time you call me 'Captain,' you'll be on my boat!") I love Captain Stotlemeyer and Randy. But I'm a little bothered by the way the Natalie character seems to be taking over the show. Traylor Howard is extremely cute and I like her in the role, but she can be a little grating when she's given too much to do. I'm happier when the show keeps the focus on Mr. M. and his crime solving escapades.

In the same way, I really preferred the "old" Doctor Who formula – when the companions really were sidekicks and not guest stars. Goodness knows, David Tennant is talented enough to carry the show on his own – I'm not sure why the BBC thinks he needs such a ton of backup. But at least last Friday's episode ("Journey's End") seems to have provided a final farewell to the dreaded Rose Tyler and her annoying family and friends. Unfortunately, it was also apparently the last of Donna Noble, a character I had really gotten to like – even though I was only ever able to understand about every fourth word Catherine Tate uttered. And when she got really wound up, I was doing good just to pick up a few intelligible parts of speech here and there.

Of course, "my" Doctor was Tom Baker – he's the first Doctor I watched, back in the 1970s and he's still my favorite, the one I think of as THE Doctor ("The definite article," as he once said). I also liked the pace of those older shows. They were exciting and held your interest without being so frenetic and action-packed that you needed a hit of oxygen when they were over.

Stargate SG-1: "Moebius, Parts 1 & 2"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 8, Episode #173/174 (819/820)
First aired March 18 and 25, 2005
Written by: Joseph Mallozzi, Paul Mullie, Brad Wright, and Robert C. Cooper
Directed by: Peter DeLuise
Cast: Richard Dean Anderson (General Jack O'Neill), Michael Shanks (Dr. Daniel Jackson), Christopher Judge (Teal'c), Amanda Tapping (Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter), Peter Williams (Apophis), Jay Acovone (Major Charles Kawalski), David Hewlett (Dr. Rodney McKay), Don S. Davis (Brigadier General George S. Hammond)

SG-1 and General O'Neill use the time-puddle jumper to go to Ancient Egypt to recover a ZPM. They successfully steal it but they find Jaffa surrounding the cloaked jumper. The future is altered and SG-1 never existed - Daniel teaches English as a second language, Carter proofreads astrophysics papers, and Jack retired from the Air Force and became a charter boat captain. Archaeologists find the video camera Daniel took with them with instructions to find the stargate, find Teal'c, and return to the past to correct the future. [TV.com]

The SG-1 team engages in some "Back to the Future" shenanigans. I frequently have trouble with these stories about returning to the past to save the future (or the present, whatever). There's usually so much of it that just doesn't seem to hold together. And frankly, this one left me scratching my head a bit and mumbling, "What just happened here?"

Of course, I'm really just getting started on the Stargate saga, and by this point in the series a lot has happened that I don't know about. So I realize there were probably things I didn't pick up on. Maybe a second viewing is in order. And I know I really should go back and start at the very beginning. Maybe after I've seen a few more episodes, things will become clearer. After all, the show ran for something like 20 years, right?

But even though I wasn't able to grok all the nuances of this double episode, I still enjoyed it. It gave the three stars an opportunity to ham it up a little, and play strictly for laughs. Usually only Richard Dean Anderson gets to do that. And I loved Jackson's and Carter's geeky counterparts – they even seemed to be a few pounds tubbier than their Stargate selves.

Doctor Who (The New Doctor Who): "Forest of the Dead"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 4, Episode #408 (Part 2)
Written by: Steven Moffatt
Directed by: Euros Lyn
Cast: David Tennant (The Doctor), Catherine Tate (Donna Noble), Alex Kingston (Professor River Song), Colin Salmon (Dr. Moon), Eve Newton (The Girl), Mark Dexter (Dad), Jessika Williams (Anita), Steve Pemberton (Strackman Lux), Talulah Riley (Miss Evangelista), O.T. Fagbenle (Other Dave), Harry Peacock (Proper Dave)

As the shadows rise and march, the Doctor forges an alliance with the mysterious River Song. But can anyone stop the Vashta Nerada? While the Doctor discovers long-buried secrets and revelations about his own future, the sinister Nodes declare that Donna Noble is doomed. [BBC]

Doctor Who (The New Doctor Who): "Silence in the Library"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 4, Episode #408 (Part 1)
Written by: Steven Moffat
Directed by: Euros Lyn
Cast: David Tennant (The Doctor), Catherine Tate (Donna Noble), Alex Kingston (Professor River Song), Colin Salmon (Dr. Moon), Eve Newton (The Girl), Mark Dexter (Dad), Jessika Williams (Anita), Steve Pemberton (Strackman Lux), Talulah Riley (Miss Evangelista), O.T. Fagbenle (Other Dave), Harry Peacock (Proper Dave)

One hundred years ago, the universe's greatest Library was sealed off but now, the shadows are moving again. The Doctor and Donna must uncover the terrible truth behind the Nodes and the horrifying Data Ghost, to find the Library's secret. [BBC]

Doctor Who (The New Doctor Who): "The Unicorn and the Wasp"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 4, Episode #407
Written by: Gareth Roberts
Directed by: Graeme Harper
Cast: David Tennant (The Doctor), Catherine Tate (Donna Noble), Fennella Woolgar (Agatha Christie), Felicity Kendal (Lady Eddison), Tom Goodman-Hill (Reverend Golightly), Christopher Benjamin (Colonel Hugh)

The Doctor and Donna join forces with the world's most famous crime novelist, to encounter a body in the library, poisoned cocktails, and a Vespiform seeking revenge. In 1926, Agatha Christie disappeared for 10 days. Was it amnesia? A nervous breakdown? Or a giant alien wasp? [BBC]

Since I'm a huge Agatha Christie fan, I had really high hopes for this episode. It also had the presence of Felicity Kendal going for it. And the 1920s setting seemed promising, too.

So, did it live up to expectations? Well, yes and no. Overall, I enjoyed it. I thought it had a very "Old Doctor Who" feel about it, which I liked. It reminded me of the kind of stories they used during the Peter Davison era.

The Cluedo game (or Clue, as we Yanks would say) aspects didn't grate with me the way they seem to have done with some of the critics. And I actually liked the shtick of Donna giving away details and titles of Christie works that hadn't been written yet – obviously planting the ideas in Agatha's head. So we really have Donna Noble and the Doctor to thank for the invention of Miss Marple!

On the other hand, I thought the cgi wasp looked a little too Disney-cute to be really frightening – like something from a Mary Poppins nightmare. And I could have done without the manic charades scene when the Doctor rids his body of poison by turning into Jerry Lewis. That wasn't a pretty sight.

So I'd say not exactly full marks, but more of a hit than a miss for this one.

Doctor Who (The New Doctor Who): "The Fires of Pompeii"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 4, Episode #402
Written by: James Moran
Directed by: Colin Teague
Cast: David Tennant (The Doctor), Catherine Tate (Donna Noble)

The Doctor and Donna travel back to the year 79 A.D., where they discover psychic powers and beasts of stone running riot in the streets of old Pompeii. The time-travelers face their greatest challenge yet: Can established history be safely changed, or must the Doctor let everyone die? [BBC]

This was the first of the New Doctor Who shows I've watched this season. No, wait a minute. I did watch the one with Kylie Minogue. But I don't think I watched any episodes from season three. After the first two seasons of the New Doctor, I got so turned off by the Rose Tyler character and all her baggage that I finally just couldn't take it anymore. And Christopher what's-his-name wasn't really my idea of a good Doctor anyway – much too frenetic, he was always jumping all over the place.

But it was the companion that really drove me away. It seemed every episode was devoted to Rose and her bleedin' family and friends. Like East Enders in Outer Space. Sorry, but I think Doctor Who should revolve around the Doctor, not his companions. The companions are just supposed to stand around and say, "What do we do now, Doctor?" They're not supposed to flirt with the Doctor or upstage him or have their own story lines. And he's most definitely not supposed to fall in love with them.

Donna Noble (played by Catherine Tate) is a much more satisfactory companion, even if she does rake the Doctor over the coals a little too often. I do have a bit of trouble understanding what she's saying – the accent is a little thick. But, so far, she's not too off-putting. A little chunky though, isn't she?

Now David Tennant, however, is a much more likely Doctor – definitely in the same vein as Tom Baker (my fave Doctor) and Sylvester McCoy (another one I liked). Funny and a little bizarre. And he's cute, too. Which is not a requirement, but always a nice plus.

Star Trek: Voyager: "Alliances" and "Threshold"

"Alliances"
Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series), Season 2, Episode #30
First aired: 1/22/1996; 1 hour
Directed by Les Landau; Written by Jeri Taylor

In order to stop attacks from the Kazon, Captain Janeway finds herself being forced to make an alliance with the more powerful Kazon sects. When negotiations fail, their only chance is to ally themselves with the Trabe, a race that used the Kazons as slaves in the past.

Not one of the most exciting episodes, but still enjoyable. And it had a nice scene between Janeway and Tuvok, with Tuvok dishing out some good old Vulcan advice about whether or not to go ahead with the proposed alliance:

"When I was a young man, a great visionary named Spock recommended an alliance between the Federation and the Klingon empire. This produced a major dispute. The Klingons, after all, were outlaws, employing violence and brutality in order to build their empire. I myself spoke out against such a coalition. But the alliance was forged and it brought a stability to the quadrant that had not been there for two hundred years. Spock's suggestion, so controversial at first, proved to be the cornerstone of peace."

Ah, that Spock. Don't you wish there really were Vulcans hanging around the planet?

"Threshold"
Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series), Season 2, Episode #31
First aired: 1/29/1996; 1 hour
Written by: Brannon Braga, Michael De Luca; Directed by: Alexander Singer

Tom Paris begins evolving into a seemingly more advanced organism after achieving warp 10 in an experimental shuttle. During treatment to return him back to normal, he escapes, kidnaps Captain Janeway, steals a shuttle craft, and vanishes back into the "Transwarp." Eventually, the shuttle is located on a swampy planet and a number of reptile-like beings are found – two adults and three offspring. After a DNA test, the adult beings are discovered to be Paris and Janeway! Chakotay makes the decision to leave the three younger reptiles on the planet, and Tom and the Captain are returned to Voyager. Fortunately, they've retained enough of their original DNA to be restored to human form.

Apparently this show is famous (or infamous) as the worst ever Star Trek episode, and though I haven't seen every episode of every Star Trek series, I wouldn't argue with that assessment. However, even though many Trekkies choose to ignore this particular show completely and pretend it never existed, I'm told that the mutated Tom Paris was actually made into an action figure, with his three offspring as accessories. (I'm not making this up.)

But "Threshold" is sort of dear to me for a few of the most unforgettable Star Trek lines. Early in the show, when the experiment seems to be failing and the tension is getting thick, Tom yells, "My vector's drifting!" Now that's right up there with Kirk's "How long till the sun blows up?" Then later on, after Paris and Janeway are being treated following their walk on the lizard side, the Hologram Doctor says, "I've eradicated all traces of the mutant DNA from your system and restored your original genome. Congratulations. You're human again." Well, all right!

Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Skin of Evil"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 1, Episode #22 (Production Code: 122)
First aired: 4/25/1988; 1 hour
Directed by: Joseph Scanlan; Written by: Joseph Stefano, Hannah Louise Shearer
Stardate: 41601.3

When Troi's shuttle crashes on an alien planet, a new being is discovered: Armus, an entity that thrives on the suffering of others. The rescue attempt results in the death of Lt. Tasha Yar.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: "The Big Goodbye"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 1, Episode #11 (Production Code: 113)
First aired: 1/11/1988; 1 hour
Directed by: Joseph Scanlan; Written by: Tracy Tormé
Stardate: 41997.7

Picard, Dr. Crusher, and Data are placed in great danger when the holodeck malfunctions while they are running a Dixon Hill private detective program, which pits them against 1940s mobsters. This is a very cute send-up of Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett type noir detective fiction. It's very good to see this episode before you see the "First Contact" film because the Dixon Hill scenario figures in the movie's plot. Also of interest - I believe this is the first real use of the holodeck in the series.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Arsenal of Freedom"

For the 42 Challenge
(TV Series)
Season 1, Episode #20 (Production Code: 121)
First aired: 4/11/1988; 1 hour
Directed by: Les Landau; Written by: Richard Manning, Hans Beimler, Maurice Hurley, Robert Lewin
Stardate: 41798.2

While searching for any signs of the U.S.S. Drake, which was last reported orbiting the planet Minos, the Enterprise receives a strange communication from the planet surface. What makes the message even more troubling is that the Drake had been sent in to investigate the report that all signs of life had vanished from the planet.

Stargate SG-1: "Forsaken"

(TV Series)
Season 6, Episode #128 (Production Code: 618)
First aired: 2/21/2003; 1 hour
Written by: Damian Kindler; Directed by: Andy Mikita

Offworld, SG-1 discovers a crashed space ship, with only three survivors. The crew of the wrecked ship has been fighting off aggressive aliens ever since they crashed – or so they claim.

Andromeda for Our Time, or The Decapitation Follies

I've spent the last couple of evenings watching the updated film version of Michael Crichton's "Andromeda Strain" on A&E. I didn't know they were doing a remake, so I hadn't been waiting on the edge of my seat or anything. But I really enjoyed the book when I read it back in the '70s, and the 1971 film was always one of my favorite sci-fi flicks. So I thought I'd give this new incarnation a try.

It was produced by the Scotts – Ridley and Tony – and that was a great recommendation. Their TV show "Numb3rs" is very watchable. In fact, it's one of the few regular network shows I do watch these days. And Ridley Scott has directed and/or produced some of my all-time favorite films.

The cast sounded good: Benjamin Bratt, Eric McCormack and Daniel Dae Kim – well, what's not to love, right? And I've always liked Andre Braugher, ever since that show he used to be in, about cops in Baltimore ("Homicide"?). He has a certain Barack Obama-like arrogance and smugness which I can't stand in Obama, but find very attractive in Braugher for some reason. I even like Rick Schroeder, although I haven't really seen him in anything since "Lonesome Dove," back in the '80s.

So I had good feelings about the show. That is, before the first episode aired. After that, not so much. Well, it wasn't completely un-entertaining. It's just that it didn't really have much to do with the original novel. One of those instances where they take a perfectly good book and just use the title to riff on. I hate when they do that. Especially in this case because Crichton's original yarn was such a good one – it really didn't need a lot of techno twaddle and cgi frosting to make it appealing.

When they stuck to the original storyline, the show wasn't too bad. Unfortunately, that didn't happen very often. And all the additional "fleshing out" of the plot seemed like just that – filler. The show was definitely too long – the second night's segment was mostly just poor Eric McCormack wandering around in the desert, trying to figure out what he was doing there (he should've been forming plans to dump his agent).

I don't remember that thumb-hacking/throwing bit showing up in the original novel or film, either (am I wrong about that?).

And what's with all the decapitations? I know the special effects people have learned how to make it look appallingly realistic, so I guess they're determined to get at least one good head-lopping into every movie now. But one per show is enough, guys – especially after that guy cutting his own head off. We get the point. You're good. We really don't need to see you do it over again before every commercial break.

Oh, and I could have done without all those screaming Hitchcock birds, too.